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Cleanin up my closet

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

V for Vendakka

posted by Vic Vega @ 7:48 AM  
If movies with funny titles were the way to go, then we should be having Captain's movies ruling the roost in Hollywood (Sudesi, Thavasi etc)
Hugo Weaving was a decent actor. Think Agent Smith, think Douglas Jarding, think Elven King, but V?? Well its not the roman numeral five , but V - the superhero with the initial. Last heard Batman wanted B, but then B sounded too gay even for DC comics and they left the audience guesisng about the true sexual preferences of the masked superhero....until of course, his shindig with Robin surfaced on Youtube...but I am digressing.

V for Vendetta sounds more like a T Rajendar movie with all its play on words. Half way through, I seriously thought it was T Rajendar disguising his beard in a mask.
The outline goes more like this. Its the year 2020 where the Chancellor of UK not only spells nuclear but stuffs it up your arse by talking incessantly. The anti-thesis of the world accustomed to Bush. IF this is going to be the future, then someone let me out. Now there is some chemical mishap as usual by the government, which leaves our hero looking a lot like Justin Timberlake. Since in 2020, every other guy happens to be a pop star, our man does the next best thing - kills all the wannabe pop stars. Last heard, that in a private screening, V shows his face to Justin evoking the response of "hey man! where can I get a face lift surgery like yours?".

V for Viscous Penile Ooze

V looks for revenge. He kills all the people responsible for his fate - from the alien that gave him an anal probe and refused to remove it, to the sheep that refused to "oblige him" . In the meantime, he gets this colossal idea that he can also blow up a couple of buildings in UK cause everyone is doing that anyways.

V for Vandalism

V gets a wonderful idea that the best way to make a woman fall in love with you is to torture her. And not just torture, but scare the shit out of her to such an extent that she is reduced to a vegetable with enough intellect to watch Oprah all day long and think that you are the best thing since sliced bread. Once this is done, she becomes putty in your hands and you can ahead and use her for your more important activities like blowing up the parliament or picking your nose.

V for Vaginal Mutilation with a rusty nail

"People shouldnt be afraid of governments, governments should be afraid of people " - Any government would be afraid of you, if you hijack all the TV stations and broadcast images of someone looking like a cross between a KISS frontman and Condoleeza Rice, with the panache of a week old fungal infection, talking with the intones of T. Rajendar. Imagine having all the channels broadcasting this...and I cant stand one hour of Oprah every day.

V for Votha

The only thing worse than a clown in a smiling mask, is a clown without a mask. That honor goes to Stephen Rea who plays Finch or the chancellor of UK. All he does in the movie is yell, ham and shout. Someone has been watching too many of Sivaji Ganesan movies. If there is some person that really needs to be killed, its this guy. I mean he is the CHANCELLOR of a country which roughly tranlslates to dictator. Now dictators normally are charismatic , blood crazy idiots. Finch apparently has as much charisma as the dog that chases you every night when you reach home (those in Bangalore would be able to readily identify what I am talking about. The fortunate folks in other cities please bear with me.....I couldnt get a better comparison here).

V for Voiciferous Bastard

The fitting finale for the movie was when every single englishman turns gay (not very surprising to many - now its legal for faggots to marry there, in a couple of years its gonna be illegal for heterosexuals to marry).

V for Vindictive Faggots


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